I have learned to set aside my personal feelings towards my ex and be involved with my daughter’s life for her best interest.
Sometimes the men and women in black robes don’t always go in your favor, but nothing can take away your right to be a parent. Learning how to compromise and get along for the best interest of the child is all that matters.
The issue here isn’t simply fathers’ rights or mothers’ rights but the right of children to have two parents actively involved in their lives.
I want to thank EACH & EVERY member of this club as you have expressed your views and experiences that have helped me. Life is full of mistakes… just make the best of it and be there for your kids! Children are a treasure and the time goes by so fast.
…to defend your child and HIS best interests…
So the interests of the child will come first. This is done when the fighting between parents escalates to the point that the child suffers. So please understand that you will not always get what you think is right. It will be what the guardian thinks is right for your child. You will need to put aside any issues concerning your ex and any negative emotions that could be transferred to your child. Your child will, no matter what, suffer from this divorce…it is a fact that cannot be denied. But your child does not have to be involved in the divorce, its issues, or become a casualty in the battlefield between you and your wife.
Your child needs to know that BOTH parents love him or her. You must reassure your child of this…and yes that includes saying the ex spouse loves him or her as much as you do. You need to reassure your child of the future and that you and the ex will both be there for this child…I know that it is tough sometimes to say something good about the ex spouse, or to not let your emotions concerning the divorce to show to your child…but each time you do let them show you hurt your child a little bit more…
Your child is scared and has no idea what the future holds…a child’s mind cannot comprehend like an adults or reason like we do…also…NEVER…NEVER say something derogatory or negative about your ex spouse in front of this child or even when you have visitation with this child..as they might be able to hear you…and this hurts them also…remember…they didn’t choose the two of you as parents….you chose to have them as a child….
Children are resilient…but they do have feelings and something they may not understand right now..but something they might remember..could haunt you and your relationship with them later…so put all divorce and custody emotions aside when dealing with your child and his interests..I wish you luck…it is a hard and rocky road..mistakes will be made…so just do the very best you can for your child….